regret

As I drift away... far away from you,
I feel all alone in a crowded room,
Thinking to myself
"There's no escape from this
fear
regret
loneliness..."

Visions of love and hate
A collage behind my eyes
Remnants of dying laughter
Echoes of silent cries

I wish I didn't know now that
I never knew then...
Flashback
Memories punish me again.
Sometimes I remember all the pain
that I have seen.
Sometimes I wonder what might
have been...

Visions of love and hate
A collage behind my eyes
Remnants of dying laughter
Echoes of silent cries

And sometimes I despair
At who I've become
I have to come to terms
With what I've done

The bittersweet taste of fate
We can't outrun the past
Destined to find an answer
A strength I never lost
I know there is a way,
My future is not set,
For the tide has turned
But still I never learned to live
without regret.

beautiful lyrics, beautiful song. anathema, regret.
and they are somewhat fitting. recently i found out that a person that i once held very close to my heart has pretty serious health issues. not just physically but mentally too. and i can't help feeling like a huge jerk because when i had the chance to comfort her i chose to be an angry child. and now..shes a million miles away, literally. all the way to the other side of the country and i can't be there for her to show her that i really care, that her pain hurts me too. we spoke, but the messenger is a poor excuse for communication. i want to hold her in my arms and make it all go away. want her to see that life can be beautifully. i want her to let go of her fears. wish i could be there. wish we could be closer. hope that next time when i see her i will cherish her more, because i see that i still care for her at some level.